Ive managed to properly fuck up my right hand, hence typing this very slowly and in an uncoordinated manner. Im completely right handed, doing anything with my left hand is dodgey and slow. So im in a place where I can't draw, write, practice my tai chi, cook a meal or open a jar of pickles *sigh*, nearly driving me mental! A few people have asked me what the lesson is in this, uummm that Im chronically right handed and need to watch crappy daytime tv for extended periods in the now?
Anyways, Im keen for a redesigning of my online communications, perhaps uniting my two blogs into one and creating a website. Currently thats being sabotaged by my limbs, but the pause has allowed for reassessment and a whole lot of imagery flowing through that Im eager to translate onto paper, but must wait for physical coordination to return to do so.
Its said that the hand we use is connected to the opposite side of the brain. Thus the left side of the brain which is rational and logic is channeled through the right hand, and the right side of the brain which is more intuitive comes through the left hand. Which in my case, creates imagery tending towards that of a three year old. I can barely write my name, let alone create anything representative, or expressing the many coexhisting realms of reality. Somewhat humbling and also grattitude inducing, in terms that let me know if I couldnt create id be feeling pretty sombre about my life, lets say suicidal...
Funny that i joke about such things. Yeah, laugh a frickin' minute. You see I'm coming up to the second Christmas without my bro, Dylan. A true gentleman, who valued his friends and family highly and entertained a variety of hobbies that could make the mind boggle. Mad scientist. But you see, he suffered from depression in his recent years, that gnarly bastard that can catch you in unexpected moments and drag you into odd parallel universes. My lovely bro, who was sane in all the moments that I wasn't, went down to this disease of chemistry and circumstance....
He took his own life nigh on two years ago. When everyone expected it might be me to do so....
Sorry to get heavy, but i just wish to mention, that if you love someones eccentricities and odd tangents, bloody let them know. Embrace their difference, affirm who they are and their importance in your life. Because, before you know it, they could be gone from this physical incarnation.
Tommorow I'm going to a community celebration ceremony marking those that have passed over. My bro phoned me when I was legally detained in a psychiatric ward, couldn't protect him, and the nurses didn't pass on the message till it was too late. I was isolated on the inside, he isolated on the outside. Fuck it, could it have been different if i'd got that message and been able to return his call. I hadn't wanted to worry him. Either way, I now watch my parents suffer from that totally wrong process of outliving your own child.
Don't try to tell me suicide is a social phenomena restricted to bla type circumstances, it's no mathematical formula, its peoples chaotic lives. Unpredictable, random, down with the figures, or beyond comprehension, it happens. May Dylans passing wake folks up to the preciousness of staying in touch, and giving time to those we love, whatever headstate theyre in. Reality is often stranger than fiction but ultimately we're all living in a story. Crazy or otherwise, meet those you love where they are, and take it from there. There's no time but the present....
For Dylan, check out >>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gw-AgvUEVm4
No comments:
Post a Comment