The sound of waves and incense smoke.....

The path winds and turns through greenery, the beauty of where I am on this journey, engaged in the present. The more distant way hidden from view, until I move ahead and reach the point where one may see it revealed. The path carrying me, through changes and consolidations, as knowledge and learning evolve and shift.

The place I am, one where the direct perception of, and engagement with, nature are a compass. Living by the ocean, I take daily walks with my dog friend Meg, beachcombing our way along, the coastal spray feeds my innards and core. That part at my centre which is confident, strong and centred, tiny as a grain of sand perhaps, but returning after a period of years absent. The sounds of the waves wash through me, clear away the stagnancy that catchs in the corners of my being. In the same way that incense smoke does for the home and hearth, reaching into unexpected places and opening them gently to healing or a shift in conciousness.

Spirit journeys that one might expect to draw away from daily reality infact imbue it with signs of its luminescent underlay. The bird of prey hovering on the air currents is beautiful in its intense physicality but also carries the language of spirit messages to come. A feather found on a well manicured lawn hints that someone who has passed is near. Banksia flowers, like torches, light the way to renewed energy. Each being has its teachings to offer, as, in my experience, do those in spirit realms. I learn to ask ‘what is it you are teaching?’ giving thanks for it, and find such an approach can guide me in many realities. Sometimes the teaching is repeated, difficult or challenging.

I find mental health and perceiving spirit are not mutually exclusive terms. The two dance around each other like a dna strand for me. Balancing brain chemistry and soul can be tricky at times, but is a worthwhile pursuit. Nothing beats the satisfaction of realising that I’ve now halved one medication, the other is completely gone. That I’ve travelled through two soul retrievals and come out the other side with somewhat clearer vision. Similar strategies, in some ways, heal their after effects, even if that’s just to ask for help. I journal, trying to remember. I am amazed at the humour of spirit guides who take the piss.

 As, with guidance, I gather the fragments of soul lost and reweave them back into my life, I learn healing is not an endpoint but a process. An approach to, rather than an ascending of, lives difficulties and challenges, that requires looking into old fears and joys, whilst slowly creating a box of tools on which to draw. Like the oceans sounds, the incenses smoke, touching forgotten places and calling them forth. 

Mika's back....

After a hiatus of several months, Mika, and her kids book story, are back on the drawing board. Shes had a makeover, as have the other characters and general style of the illustrations. The goal was a mix between traditional drawing and folk art. So Ive penciled in about seven of the twenty or so illustrations needed.

Im working on Arches100% cotton 185gsm watercolour paper, which is a bit lighter than Im used to, hence Im having to learn how to 'stretch' paper. Yep, like you do with canvas only different. Apparently it makes for ease of paint flow and stops buckling from washes.

Basically I got a 4 ply board and estapoled both sides and the edges to prepare it. Then you soak the watercolour paper in water for about ten minutes. Lifting it out you place it flat onto the prepared board, wiping off excess water. Then using special tape, which has a glue that activates when it gets wet, I taped the picture, with pencilwork side up, down to the board. Making sure to press out any bubbles or buckles. Ive just done this process with my first drawing, so apparently now i leave it to dry out on a flat surface, and then its time to add some colour to Mika's world. Exciting...

Soul retrieval...

Recently i undertook my first soul retrieval journey with Odettes contemporary shamanic guidance. The split apart that was retrieved was a small child part of me and she has gradually over the days since been absorbed into my body, where older, wiser aspects can care for her. She had been hiding under the bed (literally) for a long time and the kick back from the process has had its moments. Largely anxiety and feelings of vulnerability when out and about thats becoming knowing when to say enough, a lack of confidence that is evolving into finding a stronger voice. The thing with finding your voice, including parts that may have been silenced, is that its a bit of a one step forward two steps back situation initially. Integration occurs organically to its own timing.

 Soul fragmentation, called at times by psychology 'disassociation', occurs most often where there is trauma. In order to preserve a sense of self and survive, a part of the soul shoots off. Reconnecting to that part is a healing of embodiment, which can come with its confronting aspects. In the end though, we are here in body for the duration of our experience on planet earth 101 and becoming more present is a grounding and centring that soul retrieval expands upon. As adults we have more tools to begin to deal with and nourish through situations where we might have had limited empowerment as kids. In the same breath places where we have less presence as adults, can benifit from reintegrating child like parts that may have been missing for years.

So reintegration is a worthwhile process, as healing, but may come with its own challenges. Knowing to expect upsurges of emotions and memories can help, that these too shall pass.     




 

Little spirit....

Birds....

Birds, and indeed their feathers, have been symbolic, imbued with meaning and inspirational to people, definitely including me, the world over for eons. Shamans adorn themselves in the likeness of birds, witches create flying ointments, influenced by a striving for similar freedom to move between realms as is displayed in birds flight and the broader vision it allows. Like the Cormorant who can shift between water, earth and air in a single breath, such abilities bring rise to birds regard as messengers, translaters of secrets, bringer of omens, and bearers of souls. The Latin "aves" means both "birds" and "ancestral spirits".

Birds natural abilities allow them to gain access to wisdoms otherwise unheard or unnoticed, and give rise to the wise owl, or the clever crow, who is a worthy advisor.

Every bird has its own medicine, that can be hinted at through looking at its behaviours and presence in folklore and tale.  So that if one encounters a certain bird, or its feather trail, these charcteristics can hint at the meaning, and timing, of engaging with it, in both daily and nonordinary realities. One can also evoke a particular birds medicine if in alignment with a current path. Though, it seems, such connections are quite likely to occur organically once theres an awareness of the potentials.

I set up my altar for a Samhain ritual, slowly over a couple of days, including painting up an image to rest there. A gathering of bones. Its rather an apt time to be working on the illustrations for Ilkas masters, of species that have become extinct since she began studying.

I began to write a structured ritual but, as at other times recently, ended up just winging it and having a heartfelt adlib dialogue with spirit. I welcomed in my ancestors, guardians and guides aswell as Cailleach, for we now move into her time of year, more internal focused. I offered up roast lamb and baked vegies, with fresh fruit for desert and of course whiskey. I partook of a little too much of the latter...drinking for the ancestors too...gotta watch that....

Nicks Dragon....

This dragon was about 3 days in the birthing, designed to go in Nicks bedroom as a complement to a Tibetan prayer rug. Its 120cm by 40cm in size. Now that its finished itll be a little hard to give it over! Hopefully its 'schizy' enough for his tastes....