There's just something about Tai Chi...

My understanding of 'Qigong' is that its a series of movements, originating in ancient China, which are syncronised with ones breathing and a meditative state. Designed to activate your awareness around, strengthen and balance the internal flow of 'qi' or 'chi'. The force that is seen as the energy of life in much traditional Chinese medicine, martial arts and philosophy but that can also be translated into other cultures experiences, like 'prana' in Yoga.

Tai Chi Qigong Shibashi is a group of eighteen movements based on Yang style Tai Chi, developed in the 1970's by Professor Lin Hou-Sheng. Learning it gives a basis in the Tai Chi 'forms', activating the health benifits they offer, in a more simply learned flow as a stand alone series.

I first came into contact with this form of Qigong through Dhyana Tai Chi Qigong at our local community centre. I dipped my toe in and enjoyed it, but fell out of going to classes before I had the chance to memorise the movements. About 6 months ago I resumed classes with my teacher, Sandie (front) and gradually committed to practice outside class time, essential to giving myself the chance to consolidate some more and extend into learning Yang style Tai Chi.

Ill be honest, Im not a real active type, I walk, and Im definitely not a morning person. My routine day began with a rolling out of bed, staggering towards the coffee machine, imbibing two cups of caffeine in quick sucession and then a bleary eyed beginning of the day. I had done Reiki training, which I believe can amplify feeling some of the sensations associated with practices like Tai Chi that aim to cultivate the chi. Most of all, I just wanted to do something for my health, that was maintainable and that i enjoyed. So i turned to Tai Chi, and was lucky enough to find a teacher with both knowledge, a kind disposition and a sense of humour (required when you find yourself in knots with limbs disobeying instructions).

I began to have just one coffee, do Qigong as a warm up and then flow into Tai Chi practice, repeating what I learned in class each week, a little at a time. It became part of my morning ritual, and has been so most days for about 6 weeks now. That might not sound like much, but I count it as an achievement. That, combined with watching pretty much every martial arts movie in the local dvd store, has wakened something in me.

This is something that is gently, gradually strengthening my physical self, but also kicking ass when it comes to my stress levels (that being a technical term) and general sense of well being. Gradually, Ive heard tales of both practicioners, and teachers, who came to Tai Chi in varying states of health, some after serious injuries or illness, or later in life, began doing what they could, and have built a solid core of regained health for themselves. Its actually pretty inspiring.

Tai Chi is whats known as an 'internal' or 'soft' martial art. Practiced very slowly, with meditative intention, it is a graceful art. Echoing forms and patterns found in nature, along with the more familiar kicks and punches. Movements have names like Reeling Silk, White Crane, White Dove Spreads Wings, Dragons Mouth.

Im still at the mechanical, ok whats that arm doing over there, oops foot needs to be there, help mental blank, stage but there are moments when I find I am completely absorbed in a move, or synced in with other people who are. That feeling is pretty damn satisfying, and doing it in natural surrounds amplifies this. It must be truly inspiring to be part of the large groups who practice in parks in China, and increasingly worldwide.

If you live on the North Coast of NSW my teacher Sandie, takes classes in Mullumbimby at the Pioneer Hall, 32 Gordon St. Tuesdays, 11am till 12 is beginners/intermediate and Thursdays, 7.30am till 8.30 is intermediate/advanced. All classes are $10. Email contact : dhyanaqigong@iprimus.com.au.  

Portrait of Amma...

I drew up this portrait of Amma, the love guru, for a devotee. A lady who is unwell in the moment but of strong spirit. I'm not really one for guru's, but a friend who spent time at her ashram took me, and a carload of other women, to see Amma. Her thing is to just hug people. Not a mwa mwa dahlingk type hug but a bountious embracing and holding. She hugged more than 1000 people the night we saw her. For hours on end, she hugged. Amazing. In India she sometimes embraces people for days on end, literally. She's pretty cool. You can read more about her and the other works shes involved with here.

A poem, a conversation, a ritual....

On the full moon, just organically, as I was burning sage and lit a candle I began to dialogue with spirit. What Im gratefull for in the now, what i just don't 'get', how much I miss the physical presence of my brother and grandmother, the thanks I have for my ancestors, teachers, guides and guardians in flesh and spirit, the hope to remain centred when working with my current goals. It was kind of a flow of words that came through in a flurry and when it was done I felt at peace. Im not sure if it was a ritual, a poem, a conversation or some quirky blend of all, but it shifted me beyond tears. It made me realise the potential beauty of simply creating sacred space and then being open. Ive never been one for reciting long memorised or read excerpts but to have a rave naturally felt damn good. I didnt censor, didnt feel the need and I think that was part of the catharsis. So often we control and clamp down on our hearts, to let it all hang out in a space constructed out of respect eased the human condition. Spirit took it all good naturedly as I channelled any excess energy to compost into the Earth below....

Cailleach bheur....

It isnt her time of year on this side of the planet, yet, but the Cailleach Bheur is a winter being who will be in her element in the northern hemisphere.She comes to the fore as the days shorten and the sun sits low in the sky. This Irish and Scottish goddess will be carrying her staff with which to call in the frosts and snow, whilst keeping a watchfull eye over the wild animals. Perhaps its the 36 degree heat, she whispered in my ear and led my fingers today, whilst I researched her trail through tales told of megaliths and cairns built from stones fallen from her apron, tempests caused by the washing of her plaid. For me she is the wise untamed crone that asks us to stop, turn within, slow down and tend our metaphorical hearth fires.

that post I just couldnt write.....

For some months now Ive been visiting the land of insomnia, rather than the land of nod. The regions of laying splayed in bed, tossing and turning thinking Ill just try the other side one more time. If the restlessness continues Im up, and ill just pop into the kitchen and devour whatevers handy, preferably something sweet or crunchy. Ive eyed off the cat buscuits at times of snack impoverishment. A few months ago, it would have been chainsmoking, now after a midnight snack i gnaw on my nicorette gum avidly....

Habits, it seems replace each other, filling the space vacated by the more hideous one in a gradual slide towards health. That place where all will be perfection, Ill be you know totally sorted, and beaming 'cured' from my problem free self. Only thing is each time I get closer some other 'imbalance' appears. Daytimes spent restfully lead to sleepless nights, cigarettes go and nocturnal fridge raids come on in, and I develop a rash from the stress of both. Maybe thats the flu I feel creeping in?

So whats a girl to do? If I could just get it together. But the tighter I try to control, the more I bust, the harder I wish myself to sleep the more my brain thinks its reeaaly important to worry about that thing I said to someone who doesnt know me from a bar of soap or that house I didnt get thats had someone else living there for 6 months...

Maybe theres some other way, a wiser more compassionate way of treating self that goes ok im crap at excercising Im not going to be the female version of bruce lee, damn, but I can go for the odd walk. I can think about how the crunchy stuff I chow down ons been made, aka relative deep friedness. I can choose what beverages I consume on alcohol free days to maximise my resisitance to hangovers....hey hang on Im switching habits again....
Am I back in the loop?

Im not thinking how baaad I am anymore,  Im not focused on the fabulousness of an outcome off in the distance, and therefore the shittyness of now, but engaging with the process of shifts for their own sake. Transition is a permanant fixture. Its adjusting with the flow of patterns, rather than going on an intervention of elimination. Building rather than tearing down....and before i know it that post I just couldnt write is taking form, and Im getting kind o sleepy.

Hey here's to trying being kind, but honest, with ourselves. Changing that inner talk from a swearing biggest loser trainer inanely focused on their abs to some old mate you enjoy hangin with, that makes you just exhale, or laugh. I bet i know which one cares the most long term, after the ratings have long become irrelevant. Paradoxically, when you switch modes, possabilitys seem to open up and theres an organic healing thats taking place. Lets call it the manifesting care, in its own bloody time theory. Letting control go long enough to regain it....
what soundtrack have you got playing?

Cloak of the grandmothas....